PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME
IT HURTS YOU IN CUSTODY EVALUATIONS
Unless it has been proven or can be reasonably proven that your co-parent has been physically or sexually abusive, be careful about portraying them as the anti-Christ. Lets assume for now, you feel the need to be angry at the co-parent. You feel the need to be angry to remove them out of your life. Try to get over that fast, because Judges really do not care, and only care about your children. If you come off bitter and hateful toward the co-parent of your children, it bores them. They keep asking themselves, "So how does your anger help the child?"
So this is one of those situations where being "right" could be a problem. If you have severe hate, you might actually have markedly less contact with your children. You see, even if your spouse had an affair after 400 years of marriage, the court often does not assume that is connected to your former spouses ability to be a good parent. The only concern is not you but the child.
So be careful about the way you see your children's co-parent. In the absence of clear substance abuse and other clear physical or sexual abuse be careful in expressing hate to your kids and getting them to see the other parent as the devil. And by the way, some yelling is usually not seen as seriously as these other types of abuse.
If you are teaching hate for the co-parent, it will be come clear you are doing this, and it makes you look like a poor parent.
Folks who see the other parent as perfectly bad are generally suffering from the error they are perfect. They are annoyed at any suggestion they might need to grow psychologically. They deny all mistakes. They deny reality and their own weakness, and deny all the strength's of the other co-parent.
Parental alienation syndrome came from Gardner, and he explained it happens when children of divorce dislike and disconnect from one parent due to the words or actions or attitude of the other parent. One parent is clearly trying to end the attachment with the other parent. These actions are not described in a flattering manner. Articles use such words as "brainwashing" a child to dislike the other parent.
What does it look like?
The types of actions by the parent creating alienation
If you do these things you will be in trouble with the courts, and at some later date perhaps with your children, who will see you killed their relationship with a loving, but flawed, co-parent who they cared for and wanted to see. It will also hurt their ability to relate to others in their lives. So they are pawns of hate or truly loved. Which is it going to be?
My hope is you have wisdom in your suffering,